Ryan Adams sucks.

Haha, just kidding, I don’t really know who Ryan Adams is. I just checked his Wikipedia page and didn’t recognize any of the songs. So to me, Ryan Adams is just a black metal fan who happens to be married to Mandy Moore.

He noted that his wife, singer-actress Mandy Moore, is "luckily not terrified of black metal – I desensitized her to the entire thing." He recalled taking her to a shop in Norway called Nose Blood Records, where one of the gift items was made of real body parts. "Several of the spokesmen of this movement are totally dead and some of them impaled each other, burned a lot of churches down."

That’s actually kind of sweet. Nose Blood Records is definitely one of my favorite date spots. You know, I always watch that MTV show NEXT, where these people have "test dates", like, 'if you don't pretend to enjoy this, how are you gonna get with this'? They usually involve swing dancing or skydiving or whatever. If I were on NEXT, you'd probably see a scene with a girl asking, "Why are they selling necklaces of skull fragments?" and I'd be like, "Please, you haven't heard of Mayhem? NEXT."

So what kind of black metal is Ryan Adams listening to?

Adams also praised metal icons AC/DC, Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne, and endorsed the newest album from Ratt, last year's Infestation. "It is so good. Put track two on, sit down on your couch and wait for fucking Memorex hair," he said, only half-joking. "The sickest guitar parts ever. It's like every song is 'Round and Round.' Every song is that good."

Here's the Ratt song he mentioned...check out those siiick riffs y'all!

It is actually impossible to enjoy this song and also appreciate black metal, so I can only assume that Ryan Adams is a big fucking liar. Probably everyone thinks he's a pussy, so he mentioned black metal to try to seem like less of one.


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