yep, Metallica + Lou Reed = shit.

This is probably not news to you if you've already heard the first single, The View, a couple weeks ago. I love listening to bad albums every once in awhile, since it makes good music sound so much better by comparison. (That's why I like to warm up for a metal sesh by listening to my favorite singer-songwriters.) I didn't have any terribly insightful comments to add; it just sounded like leftover, undeveloped METALLICA riffs that should've never seen the light of day, mixed with the ramblings of an old man. Chuck Kloisterman nailed it, though. Metallica, a decade after fighting against downloads that deemed their recorded material worthless, figured out how to fight back: by publishing music that is actually worthless. My favorite part is this footnote calling Metallica out for its other crimes:

An abridged list of things Metallica has done to cause its fan base to feel betrayed: getting haircuts, making a video for "One," headlining a Lollapalooza tour no one really liked, responsibly dealing with their alcoholism, writing a song that required James Hetfield to sing on key, hiring a replacement for bassist Cliff Burton, replacing the bassist who replaced Cliff Burton, not having enough bass on … And Justice for All, not writing songs that were 11 minutes long, suing the same people who purchased their T-shirts, writing the song "2x4," wearing trousers that cost more than $33, and transitioning away from a lyrical preoccupation with killing other people and toward a lyrical preoccupation with killing themselves.

I used to love Metallica; Metallica was my gateway drug into the world of metal. When I was learning guitar, I attempted to play every riff from their first four albums. I give Metallica a lot of credit for making it okay to play weird time signatures and play long instrumental songs. I gave Death Magnetic a chance! It had that one song with that okay riff! But yeah, best to ignore them now.


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