Published on December 15, 2012

"What music do you listen to?" is something I always end up asking people when I first meet them.
Especially on dates.
This question is a fucking landmine. There are so many variations on wrong answers...

"Oh, I love THIS song! 'I'll be your dream, I'll be your wish / I'll be your fantasy....' "
"I mainly listen to NPR..."
"Everything but country."
"I don't care, as long as you can dance to it."

one of the above quotes is real

I used to think there were specific 'favorite bands' that would instantly disqualify people from dating me. But you know what? It doesn't matter, because your favorite band sucks. It's going to suck, that's a given. I've got ways to trash-talk your favorite band. "Not loud enough for my tastes", obviously. "I liked it better when [x band] invented that style", ooosickburn.

The worst part is, since I'm such a metal snob, it's pretty much inevitable that I'll be out on a date, and I'll pull this same shit with someone who actually likes metal, just the wrong kind of it. You know, like hair metal. American thrash. Deathcore. Power metal with heavy fantasy themes. Will I settle? Will I pretend that LAMB OF GOD has some merit, that BRING ME THE HORIZON isn't pushing metal in exactly the wrong direction? Will I attempt to change minds [via mixtapes]? Time will only tell.