Published on January 21, 2012


Maybe you think it takes some guts to say "I love you".
Maybe you get choked up when you're letting out the words "will you marry me?"

That's nothing.

Try turning to your significant other and saying, "hey, maybe we should move out of our house, live out of our van, and just tour as a metal band for most of the year."

That's when the bullshit ends. There's no way you can be dishonest at this point. If you're not devoted to the metal lifestyle, then it's time to walk away. You were just asked to join a menage a trois with Satan.

I was astounded by JUCIFER when I saw them last year at the Black Cat. I ran home and blogged about it, kind of like tonight, another ominous, snowy night. But back then, maybe I didn't appreciate the strength of their love. They are THE MOST METAL COUPLE OF ALL TIME.

Look. The most I can really expect of any girls I date when I talk about metal, is a "that's nice, dear." Maybe I can drag someone gutsy to see someone super-heavy like THIS WILL DESTROY YOU or SLEEPYTIME GORILLA MUSEUM or FUCKED UP. And that's okay with me, you know?

Well, it was okay with me. But then I see JUCIFER. The ultimate metal couple. METAL SOULMATES. I gotta find mine.