Published on September 29, 2011

author: Marten
date: 29/09/2011

1) It's the best album ever!
You nailed it, MASTODON. You figured out how to write easily digestible metal songs that might have some appeal to the outside world. It's really easy to pick any track on this album and just rock out. The drums are constant, bringing a funky feel to the tracks. This song's got it all - drums, riffs, choruses, non-lame solos...

Mastodon - All the Heavy Lifting
I'll tell you when!

Can't you just imagine the music video for this? I can. 1:02- zooming over a forest, trees sticking out like blades, threatening to cut you in the face. 1:46- Don't you get it yet? You're probably pretty fucking scared to close your eyes around this guy. Is he kidnapping you? Can you handle what you're about to see? 3:26- shot of someone, bloodshot eyes wide open from seeing a mythical beast.

I'm also really proud of you for streaming your whole album online, for free, to promo the release. To me, this proves that you stand behind your music, that you wrote something you're proud of and want to share with everyone You're not just trying to sell a product. P.S. I'm obviously going to see you at the 930 Club on 11/27 with Dillinger Escape Plan.

2) Well.....

A) Why are the songs so short?

"Didn't you find Crack the Skye to be a bit much? I'm losing my attention span, guys. It's tough for me to sit down for an entire hour to listen to a metal album..."

Quit being such a pussy. Concept albums are sweet. What, is an hour too heavy for you? Did you run out of Ritalin? Maybe you don't want to wake the kids when you're singing along to the epic 13-minute closer, The Last Baron? The kind of closing track that's so good, it makes you hit Play and go through the whole album again? Yeah, czars, time-travel, whales, whatever. I don't care what anyone writes about. What matters is that Mastodon have always cared enough about the art of the ALBUM.

B) It's just not heavy enough.

Okay, so let's say you're an old-school fan. Mastodon used to be heavier. Clean vocals? Please. How about some good ol' Georgia GROWLING? Plus, their guitars were heavier
What's great is that Mastodon always throw in a couple older, heavy-as-shit songs into their live set. I love when they play this one:

(2002) Mastodon - March of the Fire Ants

Their production got a little better with Leviathan...
(2004) Mastodon - I Am Ahab

But it was just a whole lot more EVIL back then, you know? Check out this frightening title: "Octopus Has No Friends." Sounds more like a Raffi song to me.